The Morning After
Can you relate to that morning after feeling when you’ve woken up with such a heavy heart of pain because of something that happened the day before- because of some sort of loss? Perhaps this has happened to you…
-The morning after your boyfriend has ended the relationship.
-The morning after you’ve buried your spouse.
-The morning after your best friend has stopped talking to you for no reason.
-The morning after you unexpectedly lost your job.
-The morning after your husband left you for another man.
-The morning after you’ve found out that someone close to you had died.
-The morning after your mother has put you out of her life.
-The morning after your child was in a near death accident and you don’t know if they’re going to make it.
-The morning after your girlfriend or wife has left you because they don’t love you anymore.
We all know that life is uncertain. Nothing is truly promised and a lot of things won’t last forever. No one will get a free pass in life- no one. We will all experience heartache, pain, disappointments, and loss in some way.
When life gives us such pain, we do need to allow ourselves to grieve. We are human and there is only so much we can handle, and letting it out –embracing the pain- is a part of the healing process. There will be moments in pain where we will feel like we’re only making it everyday by leaning on the Word to get through the day. But, I will say that in the midst of grieving- don’t completely shut yourself out of community. You must let people love you, hold you, wipe your tears away, and care for you.
For myself, a few years ago I experienced such pain that rocked my world. I remember my good friend came to pick me up on a Saturday to get me out of the house. She didn’t really know what to do or say. There she was in the car naming things we could do- eat greasy burgers, go jogging, take a walk. I chose burgers and she took me to her home and held me like a baby as I let it all out. Looking back on it, it was the first step of healing in my grieving. After that, I reached out to Jesus and He changed my life. He was there to do what He does best- heal my pain.I was anxious to return to Europe but for two years He ministered to me, and took me from sorrow to being audacious and bold for Him. Then, He answered my many prayers and let me return to Europe, but to a place I never desired to even visit: Germany. In our pain, at some point in our grieving, we must surrender to God and let Him hold us, love us, minister to us, and heal our pain. If you let Him, when He’s finished healing you He will use you for great things in the next season of your life.
I don’t have all the answers as to why God takes away and allows loss, and puts us in the cleft of the rock. I do know we’re called to trust Him in the good and the bad, and I’m reminded of Exodus 33:22 when God hid Moses’ face in the cleft of the rock.
Often in life’s darkest trials, it’s not that He has abandoned us. We are in the cleft of the rock because He is with us and is doing His most redemptive work (Ann Voskamp).Often it is in life’s darkest trials where we meet God.
When life is going good, He often can’t fully reveal Himself to us and take us to new levels. I couldn’t write these posts without that dark season where God filled me with His spirit, healed my pain, and made me audacious for Him. I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today in this city of Berlin if it hadn’t been for that time.
We must also remember that Jesus felt sorrow too and we don’t have to be too hard on ourselves. He was known as the man of sorrows (Isaiah 53:3), He felt the loss of loved ones (John 11: 33-35), He was rejected (John 1:11), and there was a period where His own family thought His ministry on earth was crazy (Mark 3:21). He cried, He embraced the pain, but He retreated into the quiet to dive into a deeper relationship with God in His sorrow- for healing.
“Sorrow is not sin. If sorrow was sin, Jesus would not have been sorrowful. Even though there is a resurrection, an opportunity to forgive and reconcile- it does not change the pain of the here and now.” –Judah Smith
In life’s troubles hold tight to God, feel the pain, allow yourself time to grieve and confront all the emotions that will flow from the pain. Just don’t let the negative emotions –anger, depression, bitterness, meanness, etc- take root and affect you in a negative way. Don’t allow your heart to become hard towards God and those that love you. Let people love you, AND when the days come, and the ability to start thinking clearly arrives, allow God to heal you. Let Him reveal Himself to you, let Him minister to your spirit. For in the midst of winter, you shall find deep within you, that there was an invincible summer all along (Camus). And God will use that summer’s heat to warm other people up for His glory and your moment to shine.