A Human Emotion Like Cyanide

“The definition of anger is disappointed love. People that are angry, they don’t get the love they want. They can give the love they should give. It’s sad because you want to caress them and say ‘I love you.’”

Anger is like cyanide – it slowly eats away at your peace of mind, your joy, and it affects your relationship with God and others. I never realized its controlling power until I met someone who is suffering from so much anger that it has left them so bitter and unable to properly function. Anger can ruin our lives if we don't get a grip on it. And I have felt the emotion of just wanting to hug them. This post is extremely personal and close to my heart.

“Some are still stuck in 20 years ago pain- divorce, rejection, a job loss, hurt, abuse, etc. And all of your life is defined by what happened in one season- one chapter- one moment- one minute of your life. And you make what someone has done to you greater than what Jesus did for you. And until you can make what Jesus did for you greater than what someone did to you, you will always stay stuck in that moment. And God is saying it’s time to move on.

–Christine Caine

News Flash: 1 out of 1 will be angered and offended by another. People will hurt us and let us down. And we will hurt people and let them down. We’re all broken people and there are some more broken than others, and one should really guard their hearts against such people.

There are 2 things I’d suggest a person to do when someone angers them:

1). Do you recall the story when the children of Israel were complaining to Moses (well they complained a lot) but I’m referring to the time they wanted water to drink and Moses was punished for it. Earlier in their journey, in Exodus 17:6, God told Moses to strike the Rock so that water would flow. In Numbers 20: 8-12, God told Moses to speak to the Rock so that the people could get water. Moses was so angry and annoyed with the people because of their massive complaining that he struck the Rock again and disobeyed God.

Now, there is a deeper symbolism here. The Rock represents Christ and God only wanted it hit once. Hitting the Rock once represented Christ dying. Christ didn’t and won’t die twice. By hitting it twice, Moses was interfering with God’s purpose (a divine symbolism). God’s anger burned against Moses because he disobeyed. Sometimes it is black and white with God and we face consequences and pay dearly for our actions. And Moses paid; he was not permitted to enter the Promise Land.

That aside, Moses should have spoken to the Rock to get the water, and dealt with the people accordingly. I’m sure in hindsight he wished he had. But in that moment he lost it with the stubborn and obstinate Israelites. In our anger in life, caused by people, we should speak to the Rock (Jesus) and pour out our frustrations to Him, not to the person(s) that offend us. We need Him to heal our hearts first or we might say something (or do something) we regret later by talking to the person first.

2). We must look deep inside ourselves and see where the anger is coming from- we must self-examination of our hearts. We must ask: “why does it mean so much to me that this person didn’t accept my love? Were they worth my good heart and if not, why was I trying to lavish good acts on someone that doesn’t care to receive them? What is it that I am trying to receive from them to be complete?”

We’ve got to humble ourselves before God and make time for Him to reveal what’s going on, on the inside of our hearts, so He can transform our hearts. That way we can change from any unhealthy thinking and anger. And, we must all come to the realization that our worth and identity comes from Christ- not people- so we don’t have to try and find approval in flesh.

We should also be easy on ourselves. We’re human and we’re going to get angry when people mistreat us. Our Heavenly Father feels the emotion of anger. We’re made in His image and He gave us that emotion. But, we can’t stay in that situation or season, unpack and start to build a city in that place. After time has passed, we need to leave town by address the issues in our own hearts before God, to receive spiritual healing, especially if it’s something deeper about our characters that we need to address and change. We don’t have to reconcile with everyone but we do have to forgive everyone, and ourselves, so that we can move on as best we can.

... for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:20