Let People Be Free
WE must allow people to be who they are, to allow them to have the liberty to make choices for their lives even if it’s not a choice we want them to make. There comes a time in life where we must accept that everybody does not do something(s) the way we would do it. If we can’t accept people for who they are and let them make decisions and choices according to their own internal logic then that means are controlling. And control is not rooted in love; it’s rooted in fear and insecurity.
Now, I say this within reason. Parents, bosses, those in authority have to exercise some sort of control over us to some extent. They have to make decisions for us that we sometimes may not like or agree with. But on the everyday level, if a friend needs to cancel (and they should do it with a good amount of time, stating their limits in advance to respect your boundaries), if a guy doesn’t want to date you then don’t try and change his mind, if a friend wants to date someone that you can see isn’t good for them then let them make that choice, if your child doesn’t want to do the career you want them to do then don’t force them.
When we look at the character of God, He isn’t controlling. He respects our boundaries and allows up to make our own choices. Our choices are often limited but to some extent our free will is quite vast and He doesn’t force us to do anything His way. God wants His freedom respected (more on this in another post) and He wants us to have our freedom respected. While we are free to make any choice we want, we aren’t free from the consequences that will go with them, and you must let people learn about life’s consequences on their own.
We often judge other people’s boundaries and use manipulation to lock them into a place where they feel guilty. But Matthew points out that when we judge other people [their boundaries, their choices] we will be judged (Matthew 7: 1-2). We should put in our root systems, we should resolve beforehand to respect other people’s choices- “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12).
If we are walking in the Spirit, we give people the freedom to make their own choices. And where there is freedom there is liberty (2 Corinthians 3:17). If we are going to judge at all, it needs to by the “perfect law that gives freedom (James 1:25). And if we’re truly in the Spirit, we won’t feel angry, guilty, withdraw love when others set boundaries. We will accept their freedom and feel better about our own freedom. Here’s a quote from the book Boundaries “We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours.”
Happy Friday!! Xx
**Inspiration from this post came from Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book Boundaries.