How to Deal with the Unloving and Unkind

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
— Matthew 5:9
You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.

— Matthew 5: 38-40
If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
— Luke 6: 32-36

We have run across these verses and we know what God says about being the bigger person, about loving the unlovable, about being kind to the unkind. And it’s easy to read these verses when you don’t have someone in your life being unlovable or unkind. But what do you do with these verses when you do have someone in your life exhibiting unkindness towards you. It’s hard to show them kindness, it’s hard to show the love of Christ, it may even be hard to have peace in your heart to even sit in the same room as them.


Currently, I’m struggling with someone in my life that is unloving and unkind. And, what I’m struggling with is turning the other cheek and loving them the way the Bible has asked me to.


I struggle with these questions: ‘How can I love those who don’t love me for their trivial reasons?’; or, ‘God, how do I love my enemies, how am I supposed to do good to them when they are doing wrong to me?’; or, ‘How can I call myself a true Christian when I am struggling to love this person that doesn’t have the love of Christ in them, even though they profess to also be a Christian?’


But, if I look at Jesus, an example of perfection that came down from heaven 2,000+ years ago, I see a man that loved people who didn’t love Him back. I see a man who loved people that didn’t understand Him. For God, people who profess to be followers of Him should not look like the world. They should look like Him. And, to look like Him means we don’t look like Satan, and in these situations when we’re hit with unloving people, we must show kindness, grace, mercy, love, understanding, patience, and most of all- we must show Jesus.


To exhibit these things means that we look like our Papa God and thus, in essence, we are punching Satan in the face, saying, “yes, this person is being unkind and mean to me, but I’m going to love them like Jesus and not return them their evil behavior- which looks like you.” That’s a punch in the face to the kingdom of darkness. And when we do this, and it can only be done with the strength of heaven behind us. It’s not easy but it is possible. We may not be able to control how we are treated but we can control how we react to their treatment of us.

Here are two thoughts to share on when you are being mistreated:

1). Don’t gossip- when you see mistreatment in another, don’t gossip about them, especially to those who have been hurt by them as well. We must guard our ears because it will lead to our already hurtful feelings of them growing deeper. And God doesn’t want us partnering with gossip. It’s best to steer clear from conversation about such person. Get up and walk away if you need to, but instead turn to robust prayer for them.

2). Pray for those who persecute you- it is when we sincerely pray for those who wrong us that God works on our hearts. We, through the process of sanctification are becoming more like Jesus. It’s not easy to pray for those who wrong us but when we pray for them daily, we began to love them and our hearts for them will change. And somehow in all of that, they will see the love of Christ manifest. And hopefully, they will change too.

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

— Matthew 5:44


Happy Friday!