The kingdom marriage every woman and man is waiting for needs you to be kingdom marriage material.  When I used to think about marriage as a youth, the most important thing was love and romance, these were the most important aspects of marriage from my perspective. The culture, the music and the lifestyle that I saw around me reinforced this.  One of my favourite songs back then was Sade’s, This Is No Ordinary Love from the Deluxe love album in 1992. I can even hear her voice as I write this, the theme of love and romance was high on the list, at least for me and I know for many other women.

But the question is: What is a kingdom marriage or marriage from a Godly perspective, because we have many examples of men and women in the Bible that got married? The Bible mentions nothing of love. While people are speaking about waiting for their “Boaz,” many neglect the fact that Boaz married Ruth for other reasons, but love was not mentioned as one of them.

The Bible speaks about marriage as two becoming one, about husbands loving their wives as Jesus Christ loved the church, and wives submitting to the husband.  The Bible speaks also of marriage being held in high honor, and so none of us should be entering into this covenant without understanding what marriage is and is not.  Many wives have complained about feeling like they are losing themselves in their marriage, some have ended their marriages becomes of this reason, and truthfully when two things become one, some things need to be left behind and lost in the process of perusing this oneness that God has tasked married people with. 

Husbands have divorced wives because the wife did not submit or did not know how to submit, but they themselves fail to recognize that the assignment, and the command that was given to them was to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and I don’t know what Bible you are reading, but when Jesus died on the cross, He died for a rebellious church that had rejected Him and nailed Him to the cross, but yet His love still remained. And so, Jesus loved me (the church) and patiently waited for me to learn submission.  He basically loved me to submission, and even when we refuse Him, the love He had for us waited patiently for us. 

Many of us will quote the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13 that speaks about love being patient and love being kind, however we shy away from the fact that the Bible also says that love suffers long, does not seek its own, endures all things, bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things. Because of the culture, we believe that if it’s hard then it’s not love, and don’t get me wrong I am not encouraging anyone to stay in a relationship filled with hurt and abuse, or to misunderstand this scripture.  This scripture about love speaks about many things and one thing is clear, love is not a feeling, and if it remains a feeling and becomes that basis and the foundation of your relationship and marriage (I am speaking about the love that is a feeling) it will not last because one thing we know about feelings is that they can change.

The marriage that the Bible speaks about is a covenant decision we need to make, understanding what is required of us, and that the same way you die to self when it comes to your relationship with God, marriage is going to require an attitude adjustment and a willingness to learn, because neither party is an expert. 

So, to all the single ladies and gents who are still praying and waiting on the Lord, make sure you understand what you are asking God for, because marriage is not just having children and building a family.  Marriage is a covenant, and God gives it high honor Hebrews 13:4 AMPC “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things…”