God’s Purpose For Marriage- Ezer Kenegdo
When God made Adam and Eve, He made them with unique and distinctive purpose. She came from Adam’s rib, at a time when Adam was ready for a companion. The loneliness of being in the Garden, created a burning desire for him to have a lifetime ezer kenegdo.
Eve was Adam’s “Ezer Kenegdo,” his “help meet.” I'm sure she brought some fascinating characteristics to Adam’s manliness, a softer and gentler way to compliment his manliness, filled with the love that only a woman can give. There is a goodness in the man that the woman brings out, and God has given women this defined role in the world. Women have a purpose in the marriage unit, and even if some don’t marry, women have a purpose in the world and a place.
“When God created Eve, He calls her an ezer kenegdo. ‘It’s not good for the man to be alone. I shall make him an ‘ezer kenegdo’ (Genesis 1:18). Ezer kenegdo means “helper companion.” It literally translates from Hebrew to ‘help meet.’ It can also be used as life-saver.
The word ezer is used only 20 other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need Him to come through for you desperately.” (1)
In God’s purpose for marriage, a husband and wife are to be each other’s ezer, the person that comes through from them desperately, in time of need.
When God made woman, He made her unique to man, to be strong where he is weak and vice versa, and to love in a way that is different than a man’s love. Men are physically stronger than women but women have stronger hearts, that’s where feminine strength is.
In God we find our male and female identities. Men are hunters, providers, and warriors. You see that same characteristic in God. And the way women want to be wanted, desired, and chased, we see this same characteristic in God. Just immerse yourself in the Old Testament and you will see this:
King David wrote in the Psalms: One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving (Psalm 62:11–12).
As we have gone through time, the role of the women has been redefined. And there is room for improvement in some areas where women have gotten off track in terms of challenging men for their defined roles, therefore living differently than God has purposed for women.
It is not God’s purpose for women to take over the role of man. A woman’s strength is in her femininity and a man’s strength is in his masculinity. When women allow men to be the men, and follow God’s purpose for the defined roles between the sexes, then we’ll have harmony in the home and in society.
Where it all went wrong
When Eve listened to the serpent in the Garden, the role of men and women forever changed. God's original intent for the sexes was never meant for there to be a struggle between men and women. God gave Adam and Eve equal dominion over everything in creation, except each other. But then the fall came and there arose a battle between the sexes.
After she ate of the forbidden fruit, God started giving out consequences to their disobedience: God said to the woman, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” (Genesis 2:16)
So now we have this struggle between men and women, and a struggling acceptance of the S word-> SUBMISSION (Ephesians 5: 22-24). As a result of Eve's sin, her daughters after her are dissatisfied about their role, desiring total equality with men.
Women now struggle with not being heard in the board room, not making as much money as a man for the same role, not being respected by men, beaten up by men, etc. What women go through and have gone through in this struggle with men, since Eve's decision to eat of the tree is described in one word: sin.
Because the world is broken as a result of sin, God still has a purpose for marriage so it can be Godly and successful. God is pro-marriage and when people choose to do it His way, it leads to healthy homes and a healthy society. Two ezer kenegdo’s who have been brought together by God are seeking to submit to one another, honor one another, love another, and rise above the challenges that come with marriage.
God has charged married women to be the ezer kenegdo to their husbands, and they to their wives. Marriages are not intended to be a power struggle but a power union. A wise married woman builds up her husband and respects him, she speaks the Word of the Lord to him and speaks into his life- she doesn't tear him down with criticism, and he does the same to her.
A wife’s job is not to challenge her husband for the leadership role that God has given him as a man. Wives also have a leadership role in their homes, to co-lead with their husbands, to raise up Godly children, and lead in their churches where God has called them to lead. And this extends to the awesome responsibility that a couple has to share Jesus with others.
And for the single men and women, there is also a role for you, a role to be Christ's ambassador and share Him with those that don't know about his saving power and grace. Women have a role to love other women and not look at them competitively. And single men and women have a role to use their skills to uplift their communities. You have to be husband before you’re a husband, you have to be a wife before you’re a wife. So, focus on your relationship with God and becoming better, so if God brings another ezer kenegdo into your life, you will be able to handle this blessing, and be their ezer as well.