The month of May is a focus on marriage and what it means from a Biblical standpoint. Last year the theme was “God’s purpose for marriage,” focusing on being in the act of marriage. This year, I want to focus the Friday Posts on having a marriage character before marriage, more specifically, what it means to be a wife or husband before you are a wife and husband. In order to have a thing, we must be the thing before it is truly manifested in our lives.

Let’s look at these traditional Christian vows:

Even in this 2021 millennia with the divorce rate as high as it is and 42% marriages ending within the first year of a couple walking down the aisle- and even with people not believing in traditional marriage- we find that many people of all nations, religions and walks of life STILL believe in marriage.

As I have written a few times before, marriage was created by God, not any human for the purpose of honoring God by a man and wife having children and growing up their family in the life and admonition of God, so that those children would have Godly families and pass on this knowledge and understanding of Godly unity in the family to their children and their children.

For, it is through families that communities are created- states/provinces/ municipalities- nations, regions of the world, continents, and then the world itself. Families are the foundation and backbone of any functioning society and a healthy world.

Many people want the partner, the nice house, the companionship, the family, the cars, the vacations, not realizing that marriage is more than things and it takes a lot of work to have that partner and the pros that come with marriage. It really takes a life that has been consecrated to God, a heart posture that has been surrendered to God, and Holy Spirit working on our individual messes to get a individual ready for marriage.

I have found in singleness that the in order for me to honor God and handle one of His sons (a future Godly spouse) I need to be a wife before I am a wife, to myself and to those around me. What do I mean by this?

I need to have and hold myself and what God has placed in my hands as a single person- for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I need to love and cherish myself and those around me in singleness, finding contentment so that I know how to give it to a marriage partner. I need to bring my issues before God for deliverance and sorting to get them dealt with so that I don’t burden a husband with them.

For those who desire marriage (and for those who are called to singleness) our stages of life from school years, to university or military service- or working, to buying a car/house, to getting a first job/ creating a business are building blocks to being a life partner to someone. 

In all these stages we learn conflict resolution skills, forgiveness, how to stand up for ourselves, how to love, how to have good character, and how to be strong in good and bad seasons of life.

And through all these stages of life and situations, we perfect these things with God at the helm. When we’re living a surrendered life to God and walking in relationship with Him, we will find ourselves being made more like Christ in these seasons. So, if we’re called to marriage, we continue walking in this sanctified life with Father, Son and Holy Spirit, so, when we take those vows, we will continue fitting in to being a servant to our spouse. We will have and hold them for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health.

The devil hates families and unity, and evil is seeking to tear apart marriages every day and every year. But when God has put two people together (I’m not talking about when two people have put themselves in a marriage), but when God has put two people together, they have everything they need in Christ to make that marriage work in the good times and bad. And if a couple lived out the vows they took together, if they lived them out individually, and they understand God’s purpose for marriage before marriage and were a husband/wife to themselves before marriage they can make it.

Let’s spend this month looking at how to me a spouse before we are a spouse.

Happy Friday and with love! God bless you and go bless someone else this weekend!