Struggling to fast, but you know this is the journey and path the Lord wants you on? You are not alone

Many times, we find ourselves in places where we use food to comfort us. Comfort eating is a term known to most of us, and usually, we do it because we are trying to find solace and peace from the food itself. Comfort eating and emotional eating often occur when you feel hungry, but the reason is not necessarily that your body needs food; it's because your emotions need food.

I love watching shows like "My 600lb Life" and "1000lb Sisters." Often, the doctors assisting these patients to lose weight, realize that overeating has an emotional component to it. They frequently recommend that patients see a therapist or counsellor to deal with the root of what is making them overeat and comfort eat.

In January, I found myself in a predicament, as many Christians were fasting. I was struggling to fast. I did all the preparations, making sure I didn’t overeat and consume high-carb foods in the days leading up to the fast. But each time, without fail, on the fasting day, I would get so hungry to the point where I would feel like my body was getting sick. It was difficult, and each time, I felt convictions like I was failing in one of the basic things I needed to be doing as a Christian. I felt that my belly had become my lord because of how much control it had over me and my ability to offer my body as a sacrifice to the Lord. This particular scripture in Romans 12:1 which reads as follows in the KJV, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service” really convicted me and made me feel like a failure. It made me question the love I have for the Lord. I would ask myself, "Do I really love the Lord if I can't even give Him just one day?"

The conviction made me question so many things, and the greatest pain in all of this was remembering who I was in the previous season. I used to fast for three days with no food, just water. I did forty days of fasting yearly, and I used to fast for one or two days weekly, as well as fast for three days at the start of each month. I really was a student of fasting. It wasn't easy, but it always felt like God extended grace to me with regards to fasting. And now, in 2024, I couldn't even survive a single day, and I felt horrible. I was in prayer, really seeking the Lord for help and deliverance over this thing that was keeping me from being able to fast. Until one day, after many failed fasting attempts in February, I made an appointment with a psychologist.

When she asked me "why" I was seeking out her services, my answer was simple: I am struggling to fast. She was a bit confused at first, but as I explained, she understood what I was saying and what I was struggling with. She explained to me what comfort and emotional eating are and about the vagus nerve.

Let me quickly summarize what the vagus nerve is. The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve, running from your brain to your intestines, with a left and a right side. Often, when we go through severe stress or any kind of trauma, the vagus nerve, which is crucial in regulating many of your body functions, can be affected. It not only goes from the brain to the intestines but also passes through the lungs, heart, and plays a significant role in your body's overall well-being. In my case, emotional trauma affected my vagus nerve, causing dysfunction. One of the ways it attempted to find balance was through the stimulation of my oesophagus, leading me to constantly want to eat food.

Understanding the role of the vagus nerve in my struggles with fasting was eye-opening. It helped me realize that my difficulties were not solely due to a lack of discipline or love for the Lord but were deeply rooted in physiological responses to past traumas. Armed with this knowledge, I began a journey of healing, both physically and spiritually. I sought professional help to address the underlying emotional issues and developed strategies to overcome my impulses towards comfort eating.

Slowly but surely, with the guidance of my therapist and the strength I found in prayer and faith, I started to regain control over my relationship with food. Fasting became less daunting, and I was able to reconnect with the spiritual significance of the practice. It wasn't an overnight transformation, but with perseverance and God's grace, I found myself once again able to offer my body as a living sacrifice, pleasing and acceptable to the Lord.

If you find yourself in a similar struggle, I encourage you not to despair. You are not alone, and there is hope for healing and restoration. Seek out professional help if needed, and lean on your faith to guide you through the journey. Remember, God's love and grace are sufficient, even in our weaknesses. Together, we can overcome the obstacles that hinder our spiritual growth and walk boldly in the path the Lord has set before us.