Walking Away When You’re Not Valued
I remember watching an interview a few years ago that Oprah did at Stanford and she shared an instance in life when she was 23 in 1980, where she was undervalued by the news company she was working for at the time in Baltimore, Maryland. Her co-host on The People Are Talking Show, was making more money than her. She went to her boss sharing that she believed she should be making the same amount as her co-host. Her boss told her that because she was single with no children, no mortgage, etc. that she shouldn’t make as much money as her co-host. She recalls the event after her boss’ explanation: “I said, ‘thank you for your time,’ and I left. I didn’t complain about it, I didn’t file a suit about it. I knew that in that moment it was time for me to go. I started the process for myself of ‘you will not be here long, you are not going to be able to get what you need.’”
There are times in life when we aren’t valued by bosses, business partnerships, romantic relationships, platonic relationships, or whatever. I’ve come to learn that when I’m not valued, it’s time to walk away if I can. I realize that sometimes it’s not possible to walk away until you have something else to walk into because of money reasons or other reasons. But, if you’re not valued and treated with respect, then it’s time to walk away, and, there’s no need to make a big deal about it unless God calls you to. For the child of God, we are heirs and royalty. We don’t have to tolerate being undervalued. We simply have to lay down the issue before our Almighty Papa and Creator and watch Him open a new door.
I find that in situations where one is undervalued and disrespected, it’s God opening up the eyes of that child so they can realize their worth and seek Him on the next opportunity where they will be valued. These situations grow us and help us see our own value so we can always aim to live from a place of worth. This isn’t arrogance, it’s simply one knowing who they are.
The Bible tells us in Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” When possible, when you realize that you’re not valued or respected and you’ve tried to find a solution with people and you’re still being mistreated, get your ducks in a row and leave. I’ve also found that if you can walk away without making a big deal it’s best this way. Sometimes it’s necessary to make noise and speak up against problems and injustice, and when those opportunities rise and Holy Spirit is calling you to make noise, which may lead to dramatic events then speak up. Always follow Holy Spirit’s guiding because when He calls us to make noise, He has gone before us and is using us to expose what needs to be exposed.
I’ve had quite a few situations in life when I have been unjustly treated, undervalued, and disrespected. When I can, I do what Oprah did at 23. I don’t make noise and I start the process for myself of saying to myself ‘you will not be here long, you are not going to be able to get what you need,’ and I get my ducks in a row and begin to exit such situation.
In this same talk, Oprah shared that she had another boss, an assistant news director, who as she recalls was “drunk with power,” harassing her every chance he got. “I decided not to file a suit against it because I knew at the time I would lose, that no good would come of it, that I would be blackballed in television, and that it would turn into a major thing. But I knew, I didn’t have long to stay there. I knew I had a vision for the future, although I couldn’t place where my future would be. I knew Who held the future.” A few years later in the late 90s with her show, The Oprah Show, she ran into him with her global prestige. God has a way of making things full circle and humbling those who mistreat us.
So, in life when you’re undervalued and disrespected and you’ve done all you can to make things right, then set your ducks in a row and leave. And, if you can do it peacefully without making a deal out of the situation this always best, unless Holy Spirit calls you to speak up. Sometimes it not worth speaking up, and sometimes it is. It all depends. May the Lord be your guide and may you live from a place of knowing your full value and worth, anything less isn’t worth tolerating.