Ruslan’s Take On Divorce In The Church
This is an interesting discussion on divorce by Ruslan. One quote that caught my attention: “stop trying to be happy and get holy.”
In Malachi God is clear on divorce: “’For I hate divorce!’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.” Divorce is hard, stressful and painful for all involved, and sadly there are times where it’s necessary.
There can also be an unfortunate stigma around those who are divorced, with people judging, yet not knowing the details of what led two people to end their marriage. The only people who know how a marriage really was are the two people in it and God.
I once heard a pastor say this: “divorce is a sign of sin in an individuals’ life.” It sounds harsh and judgmental. But even for Christians, divorce is a sign of sin. It could be adultery, mishandling money, abuse of any kind, apathy, abandonment, pride, arrogance, selfishness and refusing to meet the other’s need, being difficult and hard to life with, controlling- these are just a few. For those who are meant to be light bearers of Christ, Christians often fall short.
But one thing I do know and that I am certain of is that in order to be a good husband that loves his wife as Christ loves the church, in order to be a good wife that honors her husband, in order to have a healthy home: that man and that woman needs to have a true and daily relationship with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In their individual lives they need to be born again in Christ. You cannot be a God-honoring spouse unless you come to know the One who created marriage.
Why do we need to know the One who created marriage? Because a marriage is parallel to a relationship with our Triune God. How a husband and wife love and honor each other is a parallel to how we as individuals love and honor God.
When a person gives their life to Jesus, then begins a journey of transformation and sanctification of that individual being made more like Him. In this transformative journey Jesus gently leads an individual to put their issues on the table. He begins to work on sin, childhood traumas, religiosity, pain, pride, arrogance, wounds, abuse, past occult practices- anything that doesn’t look like God or align with His Word He works on. He works on guiding a person to unlearn unhealthy beliefs, to be selfless, and leads in character building. It’s these things that prepares a person for marriage and when they are dealt with, with God, a home and marriage are healthier.
If they’re aren’t dealt with, when the marriage gets tough (and all marriages do) it will cause triggers and deeper unhealthy patters to get out of control, which can lead to divorce or years of unhappiness.
But when we walk with God in a holy and active relationship with Him, He will lead us to our callings and purposes. If marriage is in our calling, God will lead us to the person that’s best for us. God has been parenting for thousands of years, He knows what He is doing, as He seeks to create and align KINGDOM MARRIAGES.
When a man knows his worth and value in Jesus, and what it means to lead his family in the way of Christ, God can trust this man with His daughter. It is a man’s job to get his family to Heaven and raise up His kids to know Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When a woman knows her worth and value in Jesus, and knows what it means to co-lead with her husband (and submit Ephesians 5:22-33) then God can trust her with one of His sons.
If you want to get married, get holy. If you want to get married get with Jesus. If you want to get married, read your Bible and pray. If you want to get married, put yourself around some healthy and Christ-centered marriages with a couple that you can observe and ask advice questions. If you want to get married attend courses at church on marriage and press in to understand God’s purpose for it. If you want to get married again and you’re divorced, truly seek Godly wisdom on what caused your divorce(s) and repent from any sin and your wrongdoing for why your marriage(s) ended so you won’t take any issues into a new marriage.
Marriage can be hard at times but when we opt to walk with God He will teach and guide people how to be good spouses.