How To Guard Your Heart
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
King Solomon said these words, as can be found in the book of Proverbs. He is known as the wisest man that walked the earth (1 Kings 3:12; 1 Kings 4:30). There’s a saying in the US, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Well, I say, a Proverb a day keeps the soul whole. The wisdom that flows from Proverbs can save the soul, and protect from foolish decisions.
Guarding our hearts is a fundamental practice to being able to walk on this earth. The world is a challenging place to navigate at times, but when we walk with Godly wisdom up under our feet and seek Godly counsel from others, we’ll fare better. This verse from Solomon, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,” can pertain to romantic love, platonic (friendship) love, job hunting, deciding to go into business with someone or not, investing- basically it’s to do with relationships.
Because we can only see one side of a situation or a person, whereas God can see all sides and angles of circumstances and the heart, it’s better err on the side of caution and guard our hearts. For when we don’t guard our hearts, then stinging pain comes, the kind that takes a while to heal. And that pain will impact all areas of our lives. When the heart is broken from love it’s hard to get out of bed and go to work and interact with people; or when a bad investment deal turns sour, it can cause us to be moody and short patient with people. Here are some practical life applications on how it looks like to guard our hearts:
Lots of prayer- when an opportunity presents itself, we must be praying more than ever before. Because we can only see one side of a person or situation, we need Holy Spirit to guide us because there are things we cannot see. It starts with committing new opportunities and new people we meet into God’s hands, asking Him for wisdom and guidance on how to engage with them, and how far we should go with them.
Don’t stop your planned activities- I’ve noticed that especially with women, when they meet a guy they put their friendships and activities on pause, totally focusing on him. This isn’t healthy. When something new or someone new is coming into our lives we have to keep up our friendships, we have to keep our scheduled plans, which means sometimes we have to tell that guy, “I’ve got plans, I can’t see you this or that day.” And you know, he’ll respect you more for not putting your life on pause for him.
Take your time to get to know- I heard this saying a few years ago: “everyone is perfect until you get to know them.” Everyone wears masks, even good people, though some people’s masks are quite sinister. We don’t know who someone really is after one meeting, or after a week, or even a year. I’ve heard married people say, “I’ve been married to so-and-so for 20 years and I thought I knew them, and realized I don’t.” Depending on how attached you are as a person, it might be helpful to limit hanging out with the person so much, especially at the beginning of courting. If it’s a business deal it’s best to keep things professional and limit hanging out so much, perhaps limiting or not allowing your two families hanging together for the purpose of establishing healthy boundaries. Quite simply, it takes time to get to know a person , which leads to the next point.
Ask the right questions- While we’re trying to take our time to get to know someone, it also requires asking the right questions. Seeing where they align on values is a good start, because then you’ll know if you’re equally yoked on the substantive things in life. If it’s a business deal, then you’ll want to ask questions about how they handle money, see how they treat people they don’t need like waiters and custodians, you’ll want to do background research on their business dealings, and you may want to do a small project with them to see how they handle themselves before signing any contract with them.
And when it comes to courting, asking the right questions can save the heart a lot of pain down the road, from faith and political values, to asking if you’re on the same page about where things are headed, to family goals. Borrowing from Dan Blythe’s relationship advice, if you’re a Christian you want to adhere to the 3 Cs: character, chemistry, and calling. I’d actually change it to the 4 Cs: Christ, character, chemistry, and calling. It’s important to make sure that Christ is the center of the relationship, and that the two are on the same page about character, that there is chemistry, and that their callings align.
Don’t ignore the small details- The small details, the things we write off is where the major issues will appear from. If a person is controlling and telling you what to do in courting, they will be controlling in marriage. If a person doesn’t handle money responsibly then expect nothing to change (unless they want to change) in a marriage. We often overlook or write off the small things but actually, those are the things we need to be paying the most attention to.
Seek counsel- Going back to good ole King Solomon, he also said in Proverbs: “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety (Proverbs 11:14). Having trusted counselors that can see things you can’t, that can impart wisdom on how to make a decision, and that can advise on how to respond to a situation or person is key. Trusted council can aid in making decisions that won’t end in heartache.
The heart is fragile and needs protecting. When it’s wounded that is the worst pain, in my opinion, that one can go through. I always say, I’d rather have a broken arm than a broken heart. There’s no way to evade heartbreak. One would have to retreat to an island and live alone to decrease the chances of heartbreak, but that’s no way to live. This wisdom imparted to us by one of Israel’s kings so long ago is still living and breathing, giving us peace and direction for our lives in 2025.
