Unpacking submission and how it was a married couple that showed her a healthier way of living, Hazzy Redgard explains how marriage is the ultimate expression of love

Straight off the bat, marriage is about submission. A healthy marriage is a marriage where the husband and the wife submit to and serve one another. Being submissive shows great humility. When a man and a woman are submitting to each other, it shows they value each other as equals.

A woman’s God ordained role is to submit to her husband. The Bible says here to submit yourself. A husband shouldn’t be forcing his wife to submit. Submission is a choice, and a Christian marriage is a marriage that glorifies God. Your husband or wife should be your partner in the gospel. There is submission because the two of you are on a MISSION, doing God’s work of evangelising and making disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). All throughout the Bible, we see central leadership with a central leader. God commanded Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and after Moses died, Joshua became their leader. We see Paul the Apostle led many churches in the New Testament. Marriage is a ministry and, in every ministry, there has to be a leader. The husband’s God ordained role is to lead and a wife’s God ordained role is to submit. There is no leadership without submission. Priscilla and Aquilla were a married couple who met Paul the Apostle in Corinth and joined him in his ministry work and together, they baptised Apollos (Acts 18). A marriage is a ministry that should bear fruit.

A husband is commanded by God to love his wife. Jesus says there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13). A husband is supposed to love his wife so much that he would die for her, at any given opportunity. Ultimately, a happy marriage is developed through love and respect. Men need to be respected by their wife to help them show love and a wife needs to feel loved by her husband to show respect (Ephesians 5:33).

Ultimately, marriage is to be enjoyed! It is a gift from God for working so hard! What better reward for working hard, spreading the Gospel than to be blessed with a partner in the gospel? Instead of working alone to make disciples, you now get to work together! Marriage is important in God’s kingdom because many people desperately aspire to be married, and singles need a good example to imitate.

A lot of people come to Christ and were not raised in happy homes with healthy marriage examples, and so they have no idea what a biblical marriage should look like. Married couples can actually really help and inspire people to become disciples. Paul the Apostle saw Rufus’ mother as his very own mother (Romans 16:13). A married couple can become mother and father to people from broken homes. Non-disciples know that we are disciples by our love (John 13:34-35), the love of a married couple can win people over to Christ!

I don’t think I would’ve become a Christian if it wasn’t for the love of a married couple. I was 21 when I gave my life to Christ. I came to Jesus with trust issues, hatred, trying to overcome substance abuse, and a deep lack of love. As Paul became a father to Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2), this married couple became my spiritual parents. They invited me into their home, cooked me food, watched movies with me, and shared Scriptures with me. We would speak deeply about my life and about where it did and didn’t match the Scriptures. They provided me with the love that eventually would win me over to Christ. I felt like I had a mother who would comfort me and listen to me and a father who would protect me and be firm with me. Countless times this married couple spent late nights with me where I would wrestle with Scriptures and seriously count the cost of becoming a disciple.

Still to this day this married couple shepherds me, they are a fantastic example of what a Biblical marriage looks like and how to serve God whilst being happily married. When you’re married God will bless you with spiritual children! The Bible says that two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Two spiritually strong single people will make a spiritually strong marriage that can immensely grow God’s kingdom and bring honour and glory to God.