Confront Thyself: Jealousy
We’ve entered into a new year and a new decade. But, nothing will change in our lives if we go into this new year not confronting the brokenness and negativity from past years and past decades. 365 days from now, you and I will be in the exact same place if we don’t decide to draw a line in the sand, resolving that certain mindsets and behaviors are ungodly and cannot come 2020.
So, for this month, Seele Magazine’s Friday Posts will be a part of a new series titled ‘Confront Thyself,’ with Proverbs 27:19 as our guide, with this idea, as if you’re looking at your heart and your soul in a mirror. Our Editor, Ally will present 5 issue areas that you may be struggling with that are ungodly and can’t come any further into 2020, unless you want a repeat of 2019.
Today, the topic of jealousy is on the table. When we’re jealous of another, we are indeed holding ourselves back from God’s purposes for our callings. Here are a few ways to think about jealousy.
James, the earthly brother of Jesus
Jealousy is that thing that belongs to someone else that we wish we had for ourselves. James, the earthly brother of Jesus speaks so poignantly on the topic. If anyone knew what jealousy is like, its probably James. Imagine growing up with Jesus in your house as your brother. The boy child Jesus was different from other children- sinless, kind, helpful, doing His chores, not arguing, respecting his parents; and on top of that Mary and Joseph may have handled Him differently than their other children, which may have led to sibling rivalry. Mark’s Gospel tells us that during His ministry years, Jesus’ own mother and brothers thought he lost His mind (Mark 3:21). You see the misunderstanding of Jesus and the significance of ministry within His own family, the off balance within His household, as jealousy and other issues were there.
James didn’t become a Christian until after His brother ascended into heaven. There was probably a lot of frustration, anger and jealousy for James and his other siblings. Much like the frustration, often anger, and sometimes jealousy that Princess Margaret felt towards her sister, Queen Elizabeth II of England. Siblings of monarchs suffer and struggle being number two.
Clip from Netflix’s Season 3 of The Crown
I say all that to say this: when we are jealous of another, it’s a reflection of what’s going on in the crevices of our own hearts. James, the brother of Jesus says, “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” James 3:14-16 ESV
“…Because the most successful and accomplished people aren’t out there being jealous or intimidated by another’s success. If they are jealous of someone, it doesn’t hold them back to the point they aren’t innovating. They are out there making it happen, knowing that they are awesome and successful with their own calling. ”
The reality of what you’re being jealous of
Oftentimes, we look at celebrities, influencers, people who revolve around the circles of the rich and famous and we think they have it all. Social media really inflates this. We want their calling, wealth, material possessions, fame, etc. But let me tell you from personal experiences of being around the rich, famous and fashionable, don’t be so quick to be jealous over what they have.
-Firstly, many don’t have Christ and if anyone doesn’t have Christ, you shouldn’t want their lives anyways.
-Secondly, many of these people are soulless, empty, cocky, nasty, arrogant, rude, mean, high maintenance, surrounded by fake people who are soulless like them and who don’t really care for their well-being, lonely, suicidal, and reveling in the darkest of sins.
Read and mediate with Holy Spirit on Psalm 73 to understand the slippery slope most of these types of people are on. Thirdly, you don’t know the crushing they went through to get what they have. You can’t expect to receive someone’s calling unless you have gone through what they have gone through in their own struggles to get where they are- the rejection, the hate, or the abuse they may have suffered.
Being jealous of another is like taking cyanide. As water reflects the face and is likened to your heart reflecting the real you- then your jealously is a reelection of the real you. You, in a way are harming yourself, spiraling down a slippery slope of self-demise, coveting what another person has instead of pursuing the calling God has placed on your own life. And your jealousy reflects your own low self-esteem. Instead of making your own calling happen, you’re busy wanting what someone else has. But, their calling is not what you were put on earth to do. You are responsible for multiplying your calling, as we all will stand before God to give an account for multiplying what He gave us on earth, not what He gave someone else.
Real life application- what to do
If jealousy is a struggle for you, or even comparing your life to another, I’d encourage you to go to YouTube and watch the biographies on the struggles of those you may be envying. And maybe after watching you won’t want their problems, struggles, or challenges- or even their calling.
And then, I’d encourage you to get alone with Holy Spirit and ask Him to show you what love is, because as Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4, it doesn’t envy. Ask God to cleanse your heart, to forgive you of the jealously you feel, to heal you, and speak to a mature Christian who can maybe a counsel and pray for you. There are many great resources like podcasts and books that can encourage you.
You’re not alone. But, if you don’t get a hold on your jealousy, it will continue to have a hold on you, holding you back from God truly using you for the purposes and plans He has for your life in 2020.
Happy Friday! God bless you and go bless someone else this weekend!
Resources:
Andy Stanley, Book (click to find out more)
Clearly Catie, Podcast (click to listen)