Defining Biblical Femininity
Photo credit: RF._.studio _
As it is Women’s Month, Hazzy Redgard unpacks what Biblical femininity looks like, and how she has overcome the struggle to embrace her femininity
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
God created male and female in the beginning. Women were never an afterthought and we were created in His image. God created woman as a helper to Adam. This doesn’t mean women are any less than, in fact, it means quite the opposite. The Hebrew word for “helper” is “ezer” and this is a word that is used to describe God throughout the Bible. In Psalm 118:7 God is called “helper” and the word “ezer” is used.
Imagine God as being your helper. He isn’t someone you look down on or order around or expect things from. He’s someone you rely on and can’t live without. Without God’s help, we aren’t triumphant. Without God’s help, we can’t succeed. It’s the same relationship between man and woman. Women were placed on the earth to help mankind. Imagine if the world was only men! It would be total chaos. Women are the backbone of most societies and most families, and we were created for relationships.
The world would be so lonely without us. Because we are deep and emotional beings; we talk and desire deep connection. This is why God wants us because we can have a deep relationship and a deep connection with Him; and He wants us to have deep relationships and connections with one another.
How often do you think men have deep chats about their feelings without being prompted by God? Not often. How often do you think men have deep chats about their feelings without being prompted by a woman? Not often. Our desire for intimacy and relationship is a gift from God that few men actually possess, and we need to help them with that. You can win another woman over to Christ just by loving her and having a friendship with her (John 13:34-35).
Photo Credit: Becca Correia
We women have a lot of power. In our homes, we either build up the house or we tear it down, it’s all on us (Proverbs 14:1). God has given women a big responsibility, to be the backbone of the home. This is how much power the Lord has given us, and He entrusts us with so much because He sees women as noble and virtuous enough to do it. Did you know, God loves people the way a mother loves her child (Isaiah 49:15-16, 66:13)? The love of a woman is so important because it reflects the love of God. When we as women harden our hearts or choose not to love someone, we actually withhold God from that person. This is what Biblical femininity looks like.
I’ve never been the most feminine woman. I was a tomboy growing up, as a child, I would play football and spend all my time at the skatepark. I began to embrace my femininity as a teenager but as I grew into my womanhood, I was sexualised by men. By the time I was 16, I had men whistling me in the street and shouting perverse things at me from car windows. As I was slowly exposed to the world, I saw how men really treated women. They would inappropriately grab me and my friends in clubs and the more TV I watched, the more I saw that women were constantly being abused by men. This scared me, this made me afraid of femininity because I saw it as a weapon men could use against me. Because of this, I developed a strong hatred towards men and I allowed it to boil up to the point where I would literally punch men and start fights with them if they even called me pretty.
If I was on a night out with only girls, I would go out prepared to fight any guy that laid a hand on them – and this happened countless times. I would get kicked out of clubs all the time for fighting different guys. A lot of this was fuelled by alcohol but a lot of this was also fuelled by hatred towards men. My hatred of men led me to hiding and concealing my femininity.
We live in a world now that is very confused – men think they’re women and women think they’re men. As a Christian, it’s very important for women to embrace their femininity and not act like men, we need to portray the Godliness and feminine qualities of God. Now, I didn’t understand this when I first became a Christian. I was a tough girl, I hated the idea of being feminine because I thought it was something that could be taken advantage of. But the Bible has really helped me see that femininity isn’t about wearing pink dresses or having your nails done, it’s about possessing and expressing God’s feminine qualities. It’s about being secure in my God given role of being a helper.
Now, I can be very tempted to take charge of situations and lead the brothers God has placed before me, but my role is to help them. I currently get to support a young man at my university and help him to share his faith at uni. I support another young man as we work together to manage our church’s social media. I am allowing them to lead me and I am helping them to be Godly men. This is a PRIVALIGE! They are teaching me to be a helper and I am helping them to be a leader. This is teaching me compassion and a lot of patience. God has placed me with women who are a couple of years older than me and I am learning so much from them. They’re teaching me love and compassion, they set a good example of what it means to be a Godly woman.
Thanks to God, I’m now secure in my femininity. I see the role God wants me to play and I’m going after it. I’m not naturally the kindest or caring, I don’t naturally reflect and show the love of a mother, but I’m learning, and I love the woman I’m becoming. God is softening my heart and He is teaching me to be a helper. I love being a helper, it helps me to be humble. In my flesh, I want it to be the Hazzy show – I want everything to be about me. But the role God has given me is to be the background person, the one that does a lot of work but doesn’t get the glory. This is because God deserves the glory! And I know how treasured and honoured I am in His eyes. God can see everything I do and He is pleased with me (Matthew 3:17).
