Book- Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy
Brace yourself because this book exposes an ugly aspect of in Christianity, an aspect that needs unearthing
As I had a quarter left to read of Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy, by Cait West I started the series The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. Both are patriarchal overload, especially the latter. But, both are relevant stories that get the consumer thinking- even if you don’t agree with parts of the stories. Both are painful to read and both ignite an anger that God is used to justify control and human suffering.
Patriarchy, a type of fundamentalism, control, and a type of witchcraft is not good for any society. Reading West’s story forces one to ask: how far is too far? I’m reminded that her experience is not the same as the Apostle Paul’s charge to husbands in Ephesians 5: of husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Husbands in West’s story and in The Handmaid’s Tale do not love their wives or families, though they believe they do. An ideology that punishes women for working or going to school- of living out God’s intended call on their lives is not of God; any ideology that forces people to live under strict rules of one person is not of God; any ideology that controls is not of God but rather of a far more sinister force on this earth that has nothing to do with the standards, tenants of genuine Christian faith, and the heart of Jesus.
West carefully paints her childhood and what it was liking growing up in her family home. Sadly, she grew up in a kind of cult, not as gruesome as a Jim Jones, Warren Jeffs, or Charles Manson, but cult it was. Her early years it seemed like she would never challenge her father but slowly slowly she gained the strength to do so. An enjoyable read, I’m saddened that she doesn’t find welcome in the church today- though she has tried. And she, like so many have been met with pain, wounds, and hurt by the place that’s meant to be the most welcoming. The most awe-inspiring thing is that West found the courage to leave patriarchy so that she could get healing and renewal, something all people who have escaped cults need.
“Rift is my story of growing up on the fringe of evangelical purity culture in a movement that takes the concept of patriarchy to its extreme, stripping women of their agency and making them complicit in their own demise. It is also a story of how I broke away and found myself, only to realize that patriarchy is far-reaching and not fringe at all. I wrote this to create something of my own, to take the pen back and tell my own story. I wrote this for the little girl who didn’t know how to use her voice, and for all those who have gone through something similar and who need to hear they’re not alone.”
About Rift
Raised in the Christian patriarchy movement, West was homeschooled and expected to live at home as a stay-at-home daughter after she turned 18, until her father allowed her to marry a man he chose for her. No college and definitely no career. She was trained to serve the men around her, and her life would never be her own. Growing up, she was told she was set apart, holy, she belonged to God. In her mind, she was blessed. She was quick to follow the rules and judged anyone who didn’t live by the same black and white beliefs. She knew that if she disobeyed, she would be cast out forever. But as she grew older something deep inside West told her this wasn’t how life was supposed to be.
Rift is West’s story of resisting and escaping the life her ultra-conservative Christian parents planned for her. With compassion and clarity, West explores the complex legacy of patriarchal religious trauma in her life and the years of emotional, spiritual and financial abuse she endured.
Cait West
West is is a writer and editor based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been published in The Revealer, Religion Dispatches, Fourth Genre and Hawai`i Pacific Review, among others. As an advocate and a survivor of the Christian patriarchy movement, she serves on the editorial board for Tears of Eden, a nonprofit providing resources for survivors of spiritual abuse, and co-hosts the Survivors Discuss podcast.