The Boy Child Being Left Behind
As the word celebrated Father’s Day this year, an important question once again resurfaced for me, Is the boy child being left behind? And could this be the reason he doesn’t know how to be a father or a man…
This question has gained traction across social media and even in our homes, many have expressed concern over the mental health of men and the growing number of boys growing up without fathers. The statistics are sobering, many boys are being raised in single-parent households, often by their mothers who in honesty are doing their absolute best to raise their boys into men under unfavourable circumstances. And while many mothers have raised exceptional men, the reality is boys benefit greatly from the presence of positive male role models who can model for them healthy masculinity, responsibility and emotional maturity.
As society celebrates the empowered woman with woman today leading in business, STEM and many other industries and I am unsure whether to say unfortunately, but they are also heading households and breaking barriers. In contrast, some man are struggling to redefine their place and role in this changed landscape because for generations manhood was synonymous with being a provider, protector and the heads of households and leaders in society. And as the traditional roles evolve, many men find themselves asking, Who am I?
I am uncertain whether the question should really be whether the boy child is systematically being left behind or whether it should be centred on whether patriarchy actually failed him. From childhood boys are taught that man do not cry, that they do not ask for help or share the emotions. Vulnerability is seen as weakness and strength became defined by silence, and so as result man carry unhealed wounds, struggle with depression, anxiety, loneliness and higher suicide rates compared to woman.
Scripture paints a different picture of manhood than the one painted by society or patriarchy. Jesus weeps upon arriving at the home of Lazarus who has been dead for four days in John 11:35, while David who The Bible calls “a man after God’s own heart,” showed a vast range of emotions in the book of Psalms including grief, fear, sorrow and even joy. These two man are a few examples of men in Scripture that showed emotion. So perhaps the boy child is not being systematically being left behind because of the progress and empowerment of woman, but because of generations of learned behaviour and never being taught what healthy masculinity actually looks like.
The solution, in my opinion at least, is not to blame the progress of woman as many have but rather to stop romanticising patriarchy. Boys need to be raised with intentionally, boys need mentoring by men, boys need present fathers and finally, the conversation about raising the boy child needs to be led by men. And so as we celebrated the present dads this past Father’s Day, we need to commit to raising the next generation of boys to know and understand that true masculinity is not dominance or silence, but rather that men should lead with the heart of Christ.
TRENDING
