Why Settle For A Good Man When You Can Have A Godly Man?
*This Friday Post is geared towards a Christian audience but all are welcome to read…
I remember sitting at Colour Conference London in 2017, on the opening night and my heart was heavy because I made an unwise decision about opening my heart to a guy who I thought had changed but he didn’t and I was in emotional pain. I remember Bobbie Houston saying as she was speaking, “girls, you have to take care of your heart because you are the only person who can love you like you can love you. So, guard your hearts.” This really stuck with me and I never thought about it this way- no one is going to look out for me and love me like I can love me.
But in order for a woman to love herself, like truly love herself, she needs to know who she is in Christ or she will forever be making self-made problems in her life and occasional unwise choices in many areas of her life- including her love life. It is not wise for a woman to get involved with a man who isn’t sold out and surrendered to Jesus. A Christian man (all men) need to know the REAL Man [Jesus] in order to handle the heart of a woman. The same goes for a man, he should not get involved with a woman that’s not sold out for Jesus, for he too will have many heartaches and challenges with her.
Author Jefferson Bethke once said, “there a lot of good men out there but there’s not a lot of Godly men.” Why Settle For A Good Man When You Can Have A Godly Man?” In this day and age when the world is becoming more challenging, we need men who are also half bearers of the image of God to know their identity in their Creator God, to be surrendered to God, to know what it means to walk with Holy Spirit, to be filled with Holy Spirit, and to rely our Triumphant God as he leads his household.
The world is crying out for strong, principled, righteous, whole, and holy Godly men. This month SEELE has focused on men and their value. As men are equal image bearers, God has made them and designed them to be leaders (I’m not saying women aren’t leaders), protectors, providers, and guardians of what God has put in their hands.
When a man is bad he leaves a woman scored and believing that men are all bad. Many men have left women so broken because they too are so broken and they don’t know how to treat God’s other half image bearers. But when a man is good to his woman and his family- and his community what an amazing thing this is.
Ladies, if you see signs of abuse, of a man being a “ladies’ man,” a man who doesn’t want anything to do with God- it’s best to leave that man alone. He could have all the muscles in the world, the nicest eyes, the most heavenly smile. Listen really well: you don’t live with muscles, eyes and a nice smile- you live with character. Remember that. Body parts aren’t enough to keep a home healthy.
In Genesis 2:15, God charged Adam to guard and keep the garden. Adam represents Christ, which also represents a husband/father. Christ is the High Priest. A man should be a priest of his own home. Not in the sense of preaching and administering communion, a Godly home with a father is a good thing. A man should be the purveyor of his home, guiding and ensuring that the home is healthy, led, and that God is the center. He should also be helping his family get to Heaven by guiding them in that direction. Eve represents the people of God. The Garden represents the church.
When a man and woman that God has brought together to marry, create a home with children (and some people don’t have children and that’s ok), but when two people who know Father, Son, and Holy Spirit come together this is an impactful thing. And it’s best they come together when both have given their lives to Christ and have been walking with God individually before coming together.
Before a man can be ready for marriage, he needs to have given his life to Christ and turn from a sinful lifestyle; he needs to be emotionally availably to his woman; he needs to make time for his family and not make work his life; he needs to be in the Word of God and applying it to his life- it’s a lifestyle not just something he reads once a month; He need to be planted in a church community; He needs Godly men around him that he can go to for accountability (not the kind of guy who has a lot of women around him inflating his ego giving him attention); He needs to have worked on his issues- those things that once held him bound like a bad childhood, addictions, anger, pride, etc; He needs responsibility in his life like having a job; He needs to have the Fruit of the Spirit pouring out of his character; He needs to have a level of wisdom to he knows how to turn to God for wisdom; He needs to be a giver to those around him; He needs to be a praying man; He needs to know what it means to live alone, cook, clean, and not have his mama doing this for him as an adult man (I realize in the Middle Eastern context this will be seen differently); and he needs an active relationship with God.
Of course, God gives us free will. We’re free to marry and be with who we want. But it doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences and heartache for choosing to do things our way, instead of God’s way. If God is calling you to marriage and some people are called to singleness, but if he is, wait on God to bring you a Godly mate. Sure, go out and meet people who are like minded like you but never settle. If you believe that God is all powerful then Him bringing you to your life partner is not impossible for Him. God desires that we have the best as men and women, and that means we don’t have to settle for just good when we can have Godly.