10 Years Since High School: What I’ve learned- People, God, Parents and Occupying My Street
This week I had Brad Paisley’s “Letter to Me, “ on my mind, as this year will make 10 years since I’ve graduated high school. I don’t even know how 10 years happened- my how time passes so quickly! But, for anyone who has reached their 10 year post high school graduation mark, we will all have gained some wisdom. And the next 10 years will bring more newfound wisdom, and the next 10 and so on.
“If I could write a letter to me, and send it back in time to myself at 17.
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So, if I could write a letter to my 18 year old self and pass it on to an 18 year old young woman today, who is coming to the end of her teens, perhaps feeling full of uncertainties, I’d firstly say: try not to worry too much because it’s always going to be ok. Whatever you run up against in the next 10 years, it will somehow work out.
You’re going to be at the precipice of hopefully chasing your dreams, starting your journey away from your parents, to be in the world as a young adult, and you’re going to have all kinds of experiences- some amazing, some challenging, some bad, and some painful. But never forget who you are and where you came from, that you are your mother’s daughter and that you’ll always be your father’s little girl. Never forget what your parents (or guardians) taught you.
People
People will come into your life, some will stay, and some will go and may come back again. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season and you need to learn to be ok with that. Friends will come and go, but who’s supposed to stay will stay.
You’re going to make mistakes with people, oh yes! People are going to let you down and you’re going to let people down. There will be times when you feel the criticisms of others is too much, and you will begin to institute healthy boundaries, becoming confident in saying “no” and “yes” when necessary. As the years pass you will become less impressionable. And you will find incredible strength and self-worth when you (if you) learn to not be easily shaken by people or sensitive every time someone miffs you.
Pay attention to people’s actions and not their words, and when a person tells you about themselves- believe them! Get to know people and sometimes this can take several years. People wear masks, even the good ones, even you. But, the severity of the mask wearer varies. It doesn’t mean that everyone who wears a mask is evil. It just means that we often see people as perfect until we get to know their idiosyncrasies and peculiarities.
Listen more and speak less. Don’t confide in everyone and guard your heart as you meet people and make friends. Work hard at forgiving others. It’s not always easy but it is freeing and Jesus always stands ready to help you with that. People are just people, some are sweet and some are sour. But don’t hold them to a level of perfection because you will be disappointed every time.
Men
Don’t love so hard, especially if the guy isn’t so much into the relationship. Dating is dating- not marriage so don’t unleash marriage expectations on a relationship, or on a guy. And unless he gives you ring, there’s no certainty that he’s serious about you- just know that.
Be wise in your dating. Listen to men. If he says he’s not looking for a relationship believe him and put him in the friend box. They will sometimes tell you what you want to hear, so be careful to read between the lines and make wise decisions based upon that.
Institute healthy boundaries with guy friends. Guy and girls cannot be best friends. Attraction will more often than not get in the way, and by doing too much dating type of activities can complicate things, if one starts to like the other and the other doesn’t feel the same. A treasured friendship could be lost.
Often what is good-looking on the outside will turn out to be a disappointment, so don’t just go for looks (although they are important) but they are fleeting (Proverbs 31:30). Look at the heart. Choose a man that’s deeply rooted in Christ, knows himself, and has a vision for his life. One of the worse things that we can do in life is to associate too much of our time with a guy / or people in general that doesn’t have a vision for his/ their own lives.
God
The best decision that you will ever make is to follow Christ and put all your faith in Him (Jeremiah 17: 5-8). When He reveals Himself to you, you will taste and see that He is real and that His love is everlasting. You will most likely get your heart broken or taste some version of it. But, you will come out on the better side of the pain if you let Jesus in to heal you. No one will ever love you as much as Christ because He gave His life for you. So keep your eye on Him because He is your only true constant in this life. You can take that last sentence to the bank and cash it- you’ll find no rubber in that check, haha!
There will be seasons in your life when God will slow you down, and the cloud will stop and you will feel frustrated. This can be when you’re applying for your first job and no employer is calling you for an interview. Or, you’re waiting on God for the next step. In these times, God may be trying to get your attention so He has allowed the fruition of your desire for something to stall, so that He can tell you some things.
But, in your waiting, He is getting you ready for His best- preparing you for the best job, allowing time pass so that your heart might change on what you want because what you want may not be what He has planned for you, but He is situating things for that next step.
So in this time, delve into His Word, memorize Scripture, volunteer, be a good friend, go on prayer walks, and learn to listen to His voice. Embrace the still season- “be still and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10).
Mother- Daughter Relationship / Father-Daughter Relationship
There is nothing like a mother- daughter relationship, so embrace your mother, seek her guidance, and love her. Forgiver her of her shortcomings. And, draw close to your daddy too because you will need him no matter how old you get. You will always be a daddy’s girl. And forgive him too for his wrongdoings.
#Occupyyourstreet
And lastly, with this Carl Lenz reference: Occupy Your Street! As clothing designer, Diane Von Furstenberg says, “The best relationship that you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.” So chase your dreams. Don’t let a guy, your family, friends, or criticizers distract you from your destiny.
“You have been given gifts and talents for the purpose of serving your generation.
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So serve and take your early 20s to find out what your passions are- do internships, volunteer, seek the wisdom of a mentor, ask questions, and learn from your mistakes.
Go for your dreams. If you resolve beforehand to be focused, follow your passions, seek His Kingdom and His righteousness then the things that you want- God’s perfect plan for your life- will fall into place.
18 is nowhere near the best years of your life and you still won’t have all the answers at 28 years of age. You won’t even be close, so be easy on yourself and forgive yourself because you are doing the best you can with what you have, in the best way you know how. 10 years from now you will be 28, getting ready to start the next 10 years as you would have learned even more than you knew at 18. Life’s journey is like wine. It gets finer with time, and with Christ at the helm you will go from faith to faith as you follow God’s call on your life. For it is written: the just shall live by faith (Romans 1:17)!
And remember, whatever it is, it will work itself out and you will be ok.
Happy Friday! xx