Femininity is defined as the qualities, behaviours, characteristics or attributes that are generally associated with women. Although these characteristics, such as kindness, warmth, modesty, humility, tenderness, sensitiveness, and even sweetness, are said to be the stereotypical defining traits of femininity, they tend to vary between cultures and societies. Truth be told, some may argue that they tend to lean towards the rather misogynistic beliefs associated with what being a true feminine might be. If you were to ask me, the issue of gender and how it is performed, can hardly be labelled as a grey area, instead it’s multi-coloured and at times opaque.

In most cases we find the concept of femininity being studied and thought of in relation to a woman’s sexual appeal to men. Society has gone on to sexualise these very noble attributes, by accrediting them to the females supposed ‘duty’ of being both sexually passive, yet active, whilst simultaneously perfecting the obscure art of being a sexually receptive prude.  These standards are not only ridiculous, but obviously impossible and have resulted in a myriad of socio-interpersonal uncertainty in the lives of many women striving to perform “ideal” femininity. In my opinion this confusion has masked the essence of what true femininity is, and what the Word of God says about our femininity. The world has neglected to tell us how the key to true femininity is accepting and surrendering to the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. It has neglected to mention how those very attributes associated with our femininity are in essence fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and have very little to do with our sexual appeal.

 Firstly, I am in no way presenting a blueprint to what femininity is or should be. As I mentioned before, there is truly no manual to how one should perform their femininity. Instead, I want this article to focus on an element of femininity that I believe has not been dealt with extensively. This element delves into the SUPERNATURAL nature connected to our femininity. It focuses on the deep prophetic anointing and call that seems to follow the role of femininity. We see this when we look at the lives of many women in the Bible.

Mary Magdalene, Sarah, Hannah

Instead of exhausting the obvious references we often make to Proverbs 31, in regards to how Godly femininity should be performed, let’s look at three women, Mary Magdalene, Sarah, and Hannah. We find all three of these women in seemingly conflicting circumstances, where according to the standards of the day, they are seen as women who have greatly failed to reach the standard of femininity that society has placed for them.

Mary Magdalene, although historically known as a ‘resourceful apostle to the apostles’ since she travelled with Jesus and supported his ministry out of her own resources (see Luke 8:2-3), was at first known as a woman who lived a rather questionable life. However, she surrendered her sexuality to God, followed Christ and became the first to see Him after the resurrection (see John 20:14-18) and even better, went on to be the first apostle to prophecy and preach after the sighting of Christ.

Sarah, on the other hand, although historically described as a beautiful, pious and hospitable woman, married to an exceptionally prosperous man, was barren and had been barren all her life. Sarah’s story is one filled with stubbornness, doubt, miscalculations and a few flashes of feistiness and yet it is her connection to the prophetic that transformed her into the Mother of Faith.

Then we have Hannah, married to a loving husband who favoured her dearly. Peninnah, (basically her sister-wife lol) tormented Hannah, constantly picking at Hannah’s inability to conceive. This led to Hannah going on a hunger strike. In other words, Hannah’s desire to be with-child led her into a deep state of depression. This was a state of melancholia that no one could snap her out of until she heard a prophetic word.

When we look at the journey of all three women, one thing is clear, their femininity was never defined by their circumstance, instead they made a decision to have it defined by the prophetic and the fulfilment thereof. Although in their time they were shunned for what many saw as lack, over the years their stories have come to depict a type of femininity that is solely reliant, not on their own ability to perform it but on the power of the Holy Spirit to complete it. This Spirit-filled and Spirit-led nature is what I believe has been missing in the teachings on how to achieve our femininity. We have yet to be told how true femininity resides within the power and workings of the Holy Spirit. More so, no one has mentioned the tremendous connection femininity has with the prophetic.

The connection between femininity and the prophetic

The nature of our femaleness is to be fruitful and multiply, whether that is done physically or spiritually, the woman cannot help but grow and bring life to whatever she is a part of. Likewise with the prophetic. The prophetic speaks life into what is dead and brings into existence what cannot be seen. In other words the gift of prophecy and the boldness to believe in the prophetic, is the gift of multiplication, a gift that women are naturally bestowed with.   

In Proverbs 31, the relationship between our femininity and the prophetic is subtly yet beautifully illustrated in verse 25 to 26. This scripture depicts the ideal feminine, and her ability to see beyond the present and its uncertainties.  

Godly femininity defined

Furthermore, the lives of these women also go on to demonstrate a few things about Godly femininity:

1)    Godly femininity is broad and performed in numerous ways. Whether you are as soft-spoken as Hannah, as assertive as Sarah, or as independent as Mary. As long as the Holy Spirit is leading you. Your femininity is being performed.

2)    Ones feminine journey is lathered with a series of oopsies, ups and downs, seasons of weakness, and even times of lack or failure. These episodes where ones humanness are exposed do not disqualify one from being a Godly feminine. Instead, it is in accepting these moments and embracing the power of Christ that femininity evolves into Godly femininity.

3)    Godly femininity is not and cannot be dictated by society. The Lord works above, around and despite the standards of the world, and it is in our realising this that the Lord uses the gift of womanhood to change the perspective of society.

4)    In order for one to transition from performing their femininity into living in Godly femininity, their femininity should be desperately dependent on their ability to discern, connect and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

5)    The gift of femininity has a rather unique relationship and connection with the gift of prophecy. May I dare say that Godly femininity is rarely without the prophetic (whether it is the gift to prophecy or the grace to wholeheartedly receive and manifest a prophetic word).

In conclusion, Godly femininity is the raw and unfiltered feminine journey laced with seasons of joy, spells of disappointment and whispers of the prophetic in every season. The evolution to Godly femininity is not merely a sexual or even reproductive one, instead it begins with our ability to honestly present our desires, flaws, and insecurities to God. Godly femininity is then strengthened in the confidence that both our physical and emotional desires will be met when the Holy Spirit is in full control. Within Godly femininity is the ability to not only boldly face the uncertainty of the future but also judge the Lord as faithful enough to bring forth what is promised (Hebrews 11:11).