What Makes A Good Marriage? – Joe and Vanessa’s Story

Dating for 8 months

Originally from Lebanon

Looking at the relationship journey between author, motivational speaker and worship leader Joe Tannous in Beirut, Lebanon and his girlfriend, Vanessa Ghssoub, it seems in the natural that it shouldn’t happen. But with God in the center, you see how His hand guides Kingdom relationships and brings a man and a woman together, for the right partnership, which is for His glory and two peoples’ good

Joe’s experience in meeting Vanessa

Around 18 months ago, I started dating a girl, who’s not Vanessa, the woman I will marry. Things were going so well as we enjoyed each other’s company. So naturally, things started to become more serious. That’s when I began to seek God’s will for our relationship.

While in prayer, and seeking God’s will over my relationship with my girlfriend of 18 months, He answered with another girl’s name. In dialoguing with God, I said: ‘Lord I am not talking about this other woman [Vanessa] who you have mentioned, I am asking you: ‘what do you think of my relationship with my current girlfriend.’ Nothing came back.

I knew deep inside that God wanted me to become close to Vanessa, the woman who He began to put in my mind, but I didn’t personally know her. I only saw her twice before that. Vanessa came to our youth meetings where I was leading worship and preaching. Yet, we were only Facebook friends and liking each other’s posts, but we never talked.

I didn’t end my relationship with my girlfriend because God wasn’t very convincing (that was and still is a major weakness I have. I need God to be convincing. Poor me). Things were going great with my girlfriend, but every time I saw Vanessa, I wanted to get to know her and find out all the excuses why I should not be with her. Over time I really discovered the major things that I wouldn’t accept in a woman. That’s when I took things to God and dealt with issues once and for all. I said Lord: ‘You know I can’t be with someone like Vanessa. Why are you asking me to be with her? I really can’t be with someone like her. So, can we please drop this?’

That was it!

My relationship with my girlfriend continued to grow, until her parents interfered and didn’t allow her to be in a relationship. They asked her to focus on her graduation, although she wasn’t a kid, she was 22 years old. So, we dated in secret until I couldn’t handle it. I had to end the relationship because we were going nowhere. Actually, we were going somewhere! We were going to hit a huge wall that would leave us crushed.

The relationship was over. I told God that it wasn’t a time to be in other relationships and that it was time to think and work on myself and my goals.

3 weeks later, Vanessa replied to one of my Instagram stories- she did this 2 days in a row. I thought to myself: “Why is Vanessa writing me?” This was the first time we chatted. At that time, she wasn’t even coming to our youth meetings anymore.

We started to talk daily. I found myself talking to her every single day. Then it hit me: ‘Why am I the only person who is starting the conversation? Why doesn’t she talk to me as well?’ So, I stopped talking to her.

3 days later, I just felt this urge to send her a message. So, I did and that led us to talk daily again.

I went on a vacation to Dubai and the day after I returned, she invited me to accompany her, her brother, and his wife as they were going to a village in Lebanon with a lake and a farm. It’s a really a nice place that I love to visit.

During that period of time, I kept telling God that we really couldn’t be together. I honestly didn’t want to be with her, until my birthday, but, I discovered two days before that someone invited her to my upcoming birthday party. During the party, one of my friends took her away to take some photos of her. I had a strange feeling that I have never felt before, which was jealousy. I asked myself: ‘Why is he taking her to shoot photos? Why are they alone? Why her? There are other girls over here, why didn’t he invite anyone else?’

I knew that I had feelings for her but I wasn’t going to confess them to her so I went to sit alone on a huge chair under the stars, where I had a quick talk with God about her. I sent her a text if she would like to come and sit next to me. She responded: “Yeah will do that after dinner.”

But I knew this would never happen because after dinner we would be listening to a live band, cutting the cake, talking with friends, and then go home. For me it was clear, it wouldn’t happen.  So, I thought to myself: ‘drop it. It won’t happen.’

Before she left for home, we all said our goodbyes and then it happened, she didn’t forget about our chat. She told me: ‘Don’t you want to go and sit there on the chair and talk?’

“Yes, I would love to,” I said. “I thought you wanted to go home, but if you still to want and sit, we can”

So, we sat there for 2 more hours talking about our personal lives since childhood. I saw the similarities in our lives. The challenges we faced. We were both survivors of multiple crises. I looked at her and I understood what she had been through.

5 days later I invited her to my place, we went for a walk, and as we were walking, I shared with her the things I shared with you guys, and she shared her heart as well.

It was amazing to see how God was working on the both of us without us even knowing. In Vanessa I found all the things I have been praying for. I just had to look deeper past the surface. On the surface, she was a woman I couldn’t be with, but when I knew her on a deeper level, I found that she was the one I was praying for my whole life.

We had a lot of challenges. We even came to a place where things could have ended. Life wasn’t getting any better for us. We hated the circumstances, but somehow, we kept remembering that it was God that brought us together. We are planning to get engaged this year by the grace of God even through all the circumstances in Lebanon. We are just believing that God will provide for us the best life we can ever pray and believe for.

Vanessa’s experience in meeting Joe

I met Joe in the youth meeting. I liked going there even though we are in different churches. I was attracted to the messages in his church about our true identity. The youth in my church were too young for me. But in Joe’s church I met amazing people. I was so happy to meet people my age, to pray with them and go out with them in groups.

I like Joe’s personality but I didn’t want to get involved in any relationship. I even told God that I didn’t want to get married and I gave Him all the reasons why I didn’t want to.

Then, during summer at the church conference, my pastor prayed for me, and told me, “You are now saying that you don’t want to get married, but God is telling you that He is preparing someone for you that you will meet at the proper time, and He will be a spiritual person.” I didn’t take his word serious.

It wasn’t until we started chatting on social media, that I got the opportunity to get to know him more. I liked that Joe reads a lot, and I also loved that he was a worship leader, but deep inside I said ‘no way it’s Joe.’ I never imagined myself with someone like Joe Tannous. I had different standards, like age, I wanted my ideal husband to be much older than me. Even physically, I always wanted to be with a blonde-haired guy. That’s why I kept telling myself no way that I could be with Joe, but everything was attracting me to him. His personality, how much he was loved by people, just him as a person- I began to like him so much.

The more I got to know him, I felt that things were working smoothly between us, especially after knowing each other for a year. I felt that he was pure and that he wouldn’t hurt me.

Then we talked with each other about all these details and we decided to give it a try, and we were surprised that we weren’t even trying, we just knew that we were already together.