God’s Purpose For Marriage- A Husband Is His Wife’s Covering
So, if we know from the previous weeks that God’s purpose for marriage is the ‘Two Become One Flesh’ AND that both husband and wife are each other’s ‘Ezer Kenegdo,’ we find out that another aspect of this purpose is that: a husband is his wife’s covering.
“Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
God has structured human life and commanded all believers to submit to human authority. We are to honor, submit, and respect our bosses, elders, government leaders as long as they are doing their jobs right, pastors, and anyone in authority to us. Because, we are also called to do honor, submit, and respect God.
As I pointed out last week, Christian wives should submit to their husbands and in submitting, we are trusting in their leadership as they are the head of the family. We are to trust that as God is their head/their covering, and that God is guiding them in how our homes are to be rooted and ordered. A husband, being a wife’s covering does not mean he is in domination of her, or controlling her, the kind of control that is rooted in witchcraft, but rather, as Peter points out: is honoring and respecting his wife.
For anyone that has lived or spent time in the Middle East, there are still conservative mindsets for the family that go back to days of the Bible, mindsets that are different in Western families. So, for Peter, a Jew from Israel to be writing this at that time was quite radical. Women were not given any rights or say so during this time. A woman knew her place in society then.
Think about your personal relationship with God. I would imagine you submit to God and in that submission, you find his guiding hand of love, faith, trusting Him when you don’t understand, patience in waiting for Him to bring your breakthroughs in his own way and time, and always believing He is a good Father when you don’t understand. Do you know God to be mean to you, controlling you in an unhealthy way- or have you ever seen in Him overbearing suffocation? No. God is never this way. As we honor, submit, and respect Him, He honors and respects His children.
And this is what Peter is commanding husbands to do, to cover their wives- to honor her, also they are called to submit, and respect her. God does not ask anymore of husbands than He does not model Himself.
And lastly, just as a man would care for something that is fragile, a puppy, a vase, or being careful how he walks through a palace in Europe as a tourist, God is charging men to care for their wives as something precious. To protect them as they would protect something fragile and vulnerable. Men’s first father was Adam and he stood and watched as the serpent tricked Eve. Adam stood and watched her take the bite of the fruit and didn’t intervene (Genesis 3:6). He betrayed God and what God had entrusted in his hands, and, Adam betrayed his role as covering and protector of his wife.
Protector means that a husband makes sure his family has a livelihood to survive, he protects his wife by making sure she has a good car to drive, that when she’s making business deals that she has a lawyer to read over her contracts, etc. He gets her what she needs even if he’s not skilled in that area. He looks out for her to make sure she’s not walking into dangerous traps set by the enemy or other humans.
Scripture tells us that leaders will be judged more harshly before God, and that includes husbands and their role, which is a leadership role (Hebrews 13:17). When a husband is not covering his wife and doing right by her (adultery, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, or him shutting down without letting her in, or he works all the time and doesn’t make time for her)- God sees and as a result that husband’s prayers will be hindered.
If a man knows he will not be able to live up to what it means to cover a woman, he should not marry. Just as a woman who knows she won’t be able to submit to a man and honor him, should not marry. God’s purpose for marriage is that a home be healthy and strong, it’s not always perfect but God does require of two people to be committed to His standards of a Godly union and a Godly home.