Having A Marriage Character Before Marriage: 9 Fruit
In order to have a fulfilling life, the most important decision that any one of us can make is to choose to follow Jesus- to admit we are sinners, to believe that Jesus came and died for the sins of the world, and commit our lives to holy living. The second most important decision we can ever make in life is who we choose to marry. If we marry the wrong person there will be ways in which we will suffer, and if we’re not being a good spouse it will be hard for a spouse to live with us.
Not focusing so much on this topic of knowing how to be led by God to marry the right person, but rather, on our theme of: having a marriage character before marriage, we see and need to understand that it’s imperative to let our triune God work on our issues and our character so that we can be a good husband- or a good wife.
No spouse will be perfect, no human is perfect. But, in our issues of life- issues from childhood, issues of any brokenness, issues of past sinful mistakes that have left their mark, we can lay these down before God to sort out so that when marriage comes, we don’t burden our spouse with our issues.
The Bible tells us, in a letter of Paul to the Galatians that the Fruit of the Spirit is nine things, nine ways that we can look like our God. Sometimes our issues and brokenness that hasn’t been surrendered can keep us from having some of these nine things, and when we’re even lacking in one of these nine things, in a marriage (and in society) we would be unbearable to live with.
But the fruit that comes from having the Holy Spirit in our lives is: love, joy, peace, not giving up, being kind, being good, having faith, being gentle, and being the boss over our own desires. The Law is not against these things. Galatians 5:22-23.
Of course, no one will always be all of these nine Holy Spirit traits all the time in a marriage. But, it is possible and a genuine Christian should have all of these nine things in them. Because Christ lives in us and Holy Spirit lives in us, we should always have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control.
If any one of these nine traits are out of whack in singleness, it’s good to go before God and ask Him to help you get to the root of why you don’t have this (or these) trait/s. Anyone living with us will fair far better when we’re loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and have self-control.
We have to be in God, in His Word, and in a committed relationship with Him in order to be the closest thing to the best husband or wife on this earth. We cannot be a good marriage partner without Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.