Having A Marriage Character Before Marriage: Kindness
A few months ago, I was on YouTube and a video caught my attention on the traits men find attractive in women. Men of all ages were asked this question, “what makes a woman attractive to you?” from 4 years old to 94 years old. And the constant answer was: “a kind woman.”
Continuing our theme of: “having a marriage character before marriage,” we see that there are things we can get sorted in our singleness before marriage. If kindness is one of the things that men notice in women, then it would behoove single women to be kind before marriage, to be kind to friends, coworkers, family, and strangers. I also think that this is one of the character traits a woman is also looking to see in a man.
I mean, who wants to be with a mean man or woman? We’ve all had unkind people come into our lives, and we all want people to be kind to us, but in order to get kindness, we need to give kindness.
Proverbs 31:26 states how a Godly woman is supposed to look: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” When we carry the traits of kindness, we are a representation of our Heavenly Father who is kind. And when we are kind we build up our life partner in stead of tearing them down, making them suffer by our meanness, and by being kind we co-create a healthy home.
If unkindness is something that a person struggles with in singleness and they don’t take active steps to work on it, their unkindness issues will follow them into marriage, which will cause distress to their spouse and children. To get our attention on this issue, God can put unkind people around an unkind person to mellow them out of their unkindness. Knowing how unkindness feels can spark an unkind person to strive to be kind, to lay down their issues to become a nicer person.
There is nothing our God cannot help us overcome. If we are born again, through the process of sanctification, he will partner with us as we surrender to Him to receive healing and help to be kinder people.
A future husband and a future wife are looking for a kind life partner, one who isn’t nasty and one who doesn’t tear them and others down. We all look better and feel better when we’re kind in nature.