I Don’t Need No Man!
Photo Credit: Viktoria Slowikowska
Seele Contributor Hazzy Redgard looks at the idea of women claiming they don’t need a man, and asks, is this how women really feel inside
I’m sure I’m not the only woman who’s come across the “I don’t need no man” narrative. In a world filled with oppression and feminism, we women feel like we constantly need to prove our worth and show that we are good enough. I myself feel empowered by the song Miss Independent by Ne-Yo. Why? Because I don’t need anyone! I’m just fine by myself. Women have had to fight for equality, and, in many ways, we’re still fighting for it. Women are being taught to do everything for ourselves and rely on no one to prove our independence. The truth is, women, we don’t need a man! We can get by perfectly on our own. The question is: is that what you want?
I’ve never been a girl who’s wanted a knight in shining armour. I’ve never planned my dream wedding. I’ve never thought about what kind of guy I’d like to marry. Falling in love has never been a desire of my heart. For a long time, I had the “I don’t need no man” narrative. Extreme feminism taught me that men were the enemy and that there was no place for men in my life. I believed this. I believed this until I began to understand the role God has for men and women. I’ve always wanted to be a cat lady – no husband or kids – just cats. Don’t get me wrong, I still want lots of cats, but having a Godly understanding of biblical dynamics between men and experiencing first hand the way that God-fearing men treat women has actually opened me up to the idea of allowing a man into my life.
Here’s how:
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
God says it’s not good for us to be alone – God says that. And for all my cat ladies out there, God made all the animals on earth and He said “no suitable helper was found”, therefore your cat does not substitute a husband – sorry (tough pill to swallow I know”. Woman was made to be a helper to man.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
The Bible even says that wives are to submit to their husbands. Now when I first read this the feminist in me was furious because, I DON’T NEED NO MAN! This biblical submission went against everything that I believed in as a feminist. I decided to make the Bible my standard and go with what God says rather than what I thought, and I was very surprised by the results. Submitting to a man means allowing a man to lead you. Wives are told to submit to their husbands but husbands are told to die for their wives! Ladies, how many men have been willing to de for you? Tell me honestly. I’ve never experienced love like this before Jesus, but when I joined the church, I saw for the first-time people who were truly willing to die for one another. A husband’s job is to love and respect his wife. He’s supposed to take care of her as a man! Non-Christian men don’t think like this, which is a factor of why so many women hate men. Being around incredible men of God in the church has softened my heart so much. I don’t need to be independent and do everything myself, I can actually have someone lead me and I can help him. I don’t have to be Miss Independent all the time, I can be part of a team and a partnership and I don’t have to struggle to do everything by myself. God has helped me turn from a woman who hated men to a woman who loves men and wants to see them thrive.
I also never believed in true love until I started seeing my friends in the church get married. I don’t even desire marriage yet I was balling my eyes out watching my friends Jonathon and Michelle get married before God and before the church (in my defence I was sick with flu so was already highly emotional). I’ve had the privilege to see them date and develop a beautiful relationship and I was even there when Jonathon proposed to Michelle! When it came to the wedding, it was literally like a movie. Jonathon sang his vows to Michelle. Their first dance had me crying. It was crazy seeing two people so in love – I genuinely didn’t know it existed. He’s going to lead her, take care of her.
Biblical marriage is something I believe that every girl wants deep down. Every girl wants to be swept off her feet and loved and taken care of, but we’re so used to non-Godly men doing the opposite that we don’t even believe it’s possible. I’m here to tell you that true devotion to God completely transforms individuals and can give you the fairy tale dream that you never believed was possible.
Now I’m not saying that men are perfect, people mess up all the time, but the ‘I don’t need no man’ mentality closes you off from so many opportunities. Now I’ve never been a romcom girly but recently I watched 10 Things I Hate About You and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. These films genuinely put a smile on my face seeing the happy couple at the end. I want a guy to chase me down in traffic, or buy me an electric guitar to prove that he loves me!
True love is truly possible when you do it God’s way. How can a husband take care of you and lead you when you refuse to submit to him? A man can’t fulfil his God-given role to lead you unless you let him. I didn’t know any men who really lived out this truth until I joined the International Christian Church, and this was despite growing up in an Anglican church all my life. My experiences with Christian men and my being surrounded by Godly marriages has shown me that true love actually does exist. And if you want your wedding to be as beautiful as it is in the movies, it can be! The world doesn’t need to be a lonely place for women. The world can be a beautiful place where you can be loved and protected when you do it God’s way.
If you want to learn more about how to be a Godly man or woman or learn more about how to have a Godly marriage, contact Hazzy: Email | Instagram
